


Ruins of a Lost Dream

by happyanpan



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Past Relationship(s), Post-Fall of Overwatch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 09:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14398872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyanpan/pseuds/happyanpan
Summary: Their reunion was never going to be a happy one.





	Ruins of a Lost Dream

Something was wrong.

Moira knew it the moment she walked into her apartment. It was too quiet: On any other day her dogs would be there at the doorway when she came in, but now they were nowhere to be seen.

“Ziggy? Suzi?” Moira called. Nothing.  _They could just be asleep_ , Moira thought – after all Moira had been at the university until the late hours of the evening again – but paranoia continued to gnaw at the back of her mind.

Despite the paranoia, Moira left the entrance. Unless the possible intruder knew Moira shared some of Reaper's abilities, they wouldn’t stand a chance against her even if she didn’t have her biotic gear.

Moira walked in the joined kitchen and living room and before she had time to even turn on the lights, Suzi came to Moira, wagging her tail happily. Moira kneeled down, relieved, and rubbed the puppy behind the ears. “Took you long enough. I hope you haven't been making a mess.”

“Not at all. They’ve keeping me company,” a voice said – a voice that Moira had never thought she’d hear again.

Moira looked up to the other end of the living room where the intruder turned on the light on the side table. Moira had recognized the voice immediately, but it was entirely different  _seeing_  your former lover you had believed to be dead for seven years, living and breathing, only few meters away from you.

“Moira,” Ana said. “It's been awhile.”

Gabriel had told her Shrike was Ana – that Ana was alive. There had been no reason to doubt Gabriel’s words, but afterwards Moira had gone through the little footage Talon had of Shirke, trying to see even the smallest glimpse that could prove that Shrike truly was the woman she had once loved – the past term felt wrong, it always did no matter how much Moira tried to tell herself the old feelings had long since faded away – but Shrike had never showed her face.

But this time there was no mask.

Ana was older now. Her once black hair was now completely gray, tied into a pretty braid. There were few more wrinkles, something Moira had used to tease Ana about years ago, but that had never truly made Ana any less beautiful, and they still hadn’t. A patch covered Ana’s right eye, something Gabriel had mentioned to Moira, believing it was likely Ana had survived being shot by Lacroix due to the bullet hitting her cybernetic eye.

Moira was struck by guilt that had ghosted her mind ever since Ana had been shot seven years ago. After all, Moira had had been the one to make Lacroix into what she was now.

Moira didn’t know how long she had been staring when Ana said: “No need to act so surprised. I'm sure your friends at Talon have already told you I survived.”

Ana’s words, spoken in a hard tone, made the reality of the situation sink in: This reunion wouldn't be a happy one. What they may have meant to each other once didn’t matter anymore.

“You know I’m with Talon then,” Moira said, standing up. Suzi let out a bark at her feet, but Moira ignored her.

“I have my sources.”

Moira knew she should’ve been more concerned about who these sources were, but the question could wait. For now, there was something else Moira needed to know: “Are you here to kill me?”

Ana furrowed her brows. “Do you think I would do that?” she asked. When Moira said nothing, Ana sighed and said: “I'm not here to kill you. I’m here to talk.”

A courtesy visit then.

“Then let’s talk,” Moira said and walked over to where Ana was sitting in one of the armchairs.

Ana was so close, and a part of Moira wanted to reach out if only to confirm Ana really was there, that Ana truly was  _alive._  Moira wanted to hold her and never let go, like she used to imagine she would do when Ana came back – before Lacroix herself had told Moira she had landed a headshot on Ana, and there was no way Ana could've survived it.

Ziggy was lying down on Ana’s feet, the dog paying no mind to Moira coming to sit in the opposite armchair. Ziggy always had ignored Moira completely when Ana came over. Suzi was still trying to get Moira's attention back to her, but Moira was focused on Ana.

Moira glanced at the side table next to Ana’s armchair where there was a tea cup that Moira knew she hadn’t left there herself. “I see you’ve already made yourself comfortable.”

“Yes, thank you. You even had my favorite flavor. I thought you didn’t like jasmine tea,” Ana said pointedly.  Moira frowned and averted her eyes. She had only bought the flavor in a moment of pointless sentimentality on the anniversary of Ana’s “death”. Moira hadn’t been able to down even the one cup of the flavor, but at least the sweet scent had reminded her of Ana and the many moments they had shared simply enjoying tea and each other’s company.

But there was no need for Ana to know. “So, what would you like to talk about? The weather?”

“It’s been quite pleasant lately, hasn’t it?” Ana said and took a sip of her tea. “But there was something else I was hoping to talk about. An old friend has become a homicidal smoke monster, and I was wondering how. It felt best to ask the one responsible for it.”

“What makes you think that was my work?” Moira asked. Ana wasn't impressed.

“Oh, it wasn't? My bad. I thought you were the only geneticist with a broken moral compass who was treating Gabriel,” Ana said, setting down her tea cup back to the table. “So, is this the next step in human evolution you always talked about? I expected something prettier.”

Ana clearly had not lost her sense of humor, but the comment only angered Moira. “Say what you will, but my work saved Gabriel's life.”

“Did it?” Ana asked coldly. “He didn’t look ‘saved’ to me.”

Soon after Moira had joined the ranks of Blackwatch, Gabriel had approached her about his unusual genetic condition that Soldier Enhancement Program’s experiments had caused. It had been slowly killing him, and Moira’s research had been his last chance. Moira's treatments had saved him then, and again during the explosion of the Swiss base. Not even Ana could make Moira regret what she had done: Gabriel had given her a chance when no one else would, and Moira owed him.

But not even Talon knew the full story behind the experiments Moira had conducted on Gabriel, so Moira said: “Unless you’re planning to join Talon, I’m afraid I can’t tell you.”

“If you can’t tell me why he has gone from being a little smoky around the edges to an actual puff of smoke –” Ana’s way of oversimplifying complicated science was impressive as ever.  “—then at least tell me this: Did what you’ve done to him cause him to become a murderer?”

Moira thought about her response for a moment before settling for a simple “No.”

The truth was, she wasn’t certain. The change in methodology Gabriel had seemed to adopt after the incident in Venice years ago had happened shortly after they had taken their experiments to the next level. It was possible the experiments had had some unexpected psychological effects.

But even then, Moira didn’t regret what she had done. What mattered was that Gabriel had lived.

Ana looked at Moira thoughtfully, and Moira stared back, not betraying any emotion on her face. Eventually, Ana asked: “Were you two involved with Talon before the explosion of the Swiss base?”

“Yes,” Moira said truthfully. There was no reason to hide it now.

Ana left out a defeated sigh. “Talon infiltrating our ranks was always a possibility, but I never thought they would have you two on their payroll.”

Moira stayed silent. She had hated keeping the truth from Ana, knowing there would be no forgiveness if she ever found out, but back then the deal she and Gabriel made with Talon had felt necessary.

Moira decided it was her time to ask questions. “Why didn't you come back?”

Ana sighed. “I needed time.”

“It has been  _seven years_ ,” Moira said, her voice getting heated. “I thought I had lost you. I  _mourned_  you.”

Moira paused to gather back her composure. She couldn’t place the emotion on Ana’s face which only frustrated her further. Did seeing Moira after all these years mean nothing to Ana?  Moira clicked her tongue before saying: “And all this time you have been hiding away in Egypt.”

“It’s funny to hear this from you,” Ana said. Moira narrowed her eyes, not understanding what Ana could mean by that. “I was under the impression turning Amélie Lacroix into a killer was your handiwork. I thought Talon must’ve been pleased to have me out of the picture.”

Moira paled as the feeling of guilt returned stronger than it had been in years. “I didn't know what would happen on that mission.”

“Didn't you?” Ana asked, clearly not believing Moira's words.

“If I had known what would happen –”

“Do you know how many lives she took before she got to me?” Ana asked, anger replacing the calm in her tone. “Four. Four good soldiers with families to go back to. So, let's say I had come from Egypt but they had still died, would you have any regrets what you did to Amélie?”

Moira was quiet. She didn’t know. When she had been told Ana had been missing in action, she hadn’t even considered the others lost in that mission. She had only been thinking of Ana.

“Why did you do it?” Ana asked when Moira didn’t answer.

“It was what was asked of me,” Moira said. It wasn’t enough.

“Why was Talon asking you for anything?”

Moira shifted in her seat. Telling Ana too much would be unwise, after all she was an enemy of Talon. Still, she deserved at least a piece of the truth.

“You must know by now Overwatch was corrupted; Morrison seems to have been going after the last of the people responsible.” Moira looked at Ana for confirmation, but Ana simply looked back at her with a hard expression. The familiar expression reminded Moira of the beginning of her career in Blackwatch when Ana had been coming to her laboratory once or twice a week to lecture Moira about her methods because of the complaints Doctor Ziegler had kept filing. Moira continued: “Gabriel found out, and the only way to handle it was to do something about it ourselves. It turned out Talon was willing to lend a helping hand.”

It hadn't been that simple. Gabriel hadn't trusted Talon – he had hated them for everything they had done. But with Talon expressing interest in Moira's research after she had lost her job in Blackwatch after the Venice incident, they saw a chance to infiltrate Talon from the inside, to gather information so that when Talon had outgrown their use, Blackwatch could destroy them as well.

In the end, they hadn't been able to deal with neither the conspiracy growing inside Overwatch, or Talon.

Ana scoffed. “You're telling me you joined Talon to save Overwatch? Please, Moira. You never cared about Overwatch and we both know it.”

Moira’s lips thinned into a line. “You're right, I didn't care what happened to Overwatch, but you were the second in command. They would have taken you down with them.”

“Should I be flattered that you joined a terrorist organization for my sake?” Ana demanded. “That you made an innocent woman into a coldblooded killer  _for my sake_?”

“We needed to gain Talon’s trust –”

“It wasn’t worth destroying Amélie Lacroix’ life,” Ana interrupted.

“You didn’t see the state she was in after they had first kidnapped her,” Moira countered. “Having her not feel was the kindest thing anyone could’ve done to her.”

“Oh, so what you did was an act of kindness? That solves everything then,” Ana said.

Moira took a deep inhale, frustrated. “I don’t expect you to understand.” She didn't  _need_ Ana to understand. She had done what she had to keep Ana safe and because Gabriel had asked it of her. The fear on Lacroix's face, the last emotion she likely ever had, and the distraught look on Gabriel’s face when Moira agreed to what Talon had asked of her, was a weight she was willing to carry.

Moira hadn't cared for many people in her life, but those that she did care for were worth the blood in her hands. She didn't need their forgiveness.

“None of what you have said explains why you’re still on Talon’s payroll seven years later,” Ana said. “How many more ‘acts of kindness’ have you done for them?”

Moira lowered her gaze. After Ana and Gabriel had been gone, Moira's reasons for joining Talon hadn't mattered anymore. She could have continued what she had began with Gabriel, but she had chosen a different path.

“I don't take joy in the things I have do for Talon,” Moira said. “But they were the sacrifice I had to make to be able to continue my research.”

“You had other options,” Ana said.

“Did I?” Moira asked mockingly. “I tried reaching out to others when I had to leave Blackwatch. Medicine companies, weapon companies,  _anyone_  who could have even the slightest interest in my research, and the answer was always the same.”

“Then you should've abandoned that research,” Ana said, unforgiving.

“You and Gabriel were gone, and when Overwatch fell I had nowhere to go. My research was all I had.” The time following the fall of Overwatch had been harder than the months before Gabriel had hired her into Blackwatch. Her ideas had never been popular, but the she had never felt the kind of loneliness as she did back then.

Even now that both Ana and Gabriel had turned out to be alive, they remained lost to Moira. Ana would never forgive Moira for the things she had done, and Moira suspected Gabriel hadn’t abandoned their previously mutual goal to take Talon out from the inside. However, Moira had stayed with Talon to continue her research after she had thought Gabriel was dead. It was likely that if Gabriel still planned to destroy Talon, Moira had a target on her back as well.

“Your research is not worth the lives that have been lost because of Talon,” Ana said.

“We must all make sacrifices for science,” Moira said.

Ana lips thinned into an angry line, and she shook her head.

“You haven't changed one bit,” Ana said. “It always comes back to science with you. Let the world burn if it means scientific progress can be made, is that it?”

“You knew I was willing to take risks others wouldn’t,” Moira said, but she couldn’t help but think how some of those risks had meant  _nothing._ Moira had wanted to keep Ana safe and instead she had destroyed her life when Lacroix –  _Widowmaker_ , Moira’s own creation – had landed that shot in Egypt. It was why Moira didn’t try to inquire about Gabriel’s true motives and why she had slowly been letting Lacroix’s “programming” crack. If one of those two would be the one to end Moira’s life one day for revenge, it would be an ending Moira could accept. Until then, Moira would continue on the path she had chosen.

“I knew,” Ana said. “I also remember how you used to talk about the wonders science had build, how your research could be used to cure diseases and disorders, the good it could do. You were willing to take risks, yes, even dangerous ones, but you didn't do it to harm people.”

Moira was quiet. Ana had known Moira didn't share the caution her peers did, and Ana had never been afraid to challenge those beliefs, but she had always tried to encourage Moira to use her skills to better people's lives. For some time, Moira had wanted to be the person Ana wanted her to be, but their views about how science could create a better world never had been quite the same.

“I can still do the things I talked about with the resources Talon has given me,” Moira said.

“Of course, maybe they’ll let you have a side project to cure cancer when they don’t need you to turn people into weapons for them.”

Silence fell between them.

When Moira had learned Ana was still alive, Moira had never thought they’d reunite. In a way, she hadn’t wanted them to. Moira had tried explaining the feeling in many ways. Moira had told herself the old feelings had long since faded away, that Ana would only try to get in the way of progress she and Talon were making, or that it shouldn’t be Ana’s fight anymore.

In the end, the true reason had only ever been Moira’s own shame.

“Why did you come here, Ana?” Moira asked eventually. “You must’ve known I couldn’t give you the answers you wanted to hear.”

“I wanted the truth. I never expected it to be pretty,” Ana said and got up from the armchair. Ziggy raised his head and whined, and Ana bend down slightly to pet the dog's head.

“What will you do now?” Moira asked, standing up to put distance between them when Ana had turned to pet Suzi who had been lying at Moira's feet.

“What I’ve always done. Fight for what I believe is right,” Ana said and straightened up, walking past Moira.

“Then I suppose the next time we will meet it will be on the opposite sides of a battlefield,” Moira said and turned to watch Ana leave.

Ana stopped and looked over her shoulder to meet Moira’s gaze. After a moment, Ana looked to the ground and sighed. Just when Moira thought she would leave, Ana took a step closer instead.

Moira’s eyes widened when Ana came to stand before her and brought her other hand to Moira’s face for a gentle caress. Moira had to blink back the sudden tears she felt forming in her eyes because of the familiar touch that she had knew she had missed but had almost forgotten just how much until now.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Ana said quietly. “There's more to you than this.”

Moira leaned into Ana’s touch, knowing it would likely be the last time she got to feel it. “We’ve both made our choices, Ana. It's too late.”

“It's never too late to do the right thing,” Ana said, and pulled away her hand. The loss of contact felt devastating, but before Moira could so much as react, Ana cupped Moira’s face and pulled her down to press a gentle kiss on her lips.

When Ana pulled away, too soon, Moira felt a single tear fall – more than she had allowed herself even when she had thought she had lost Ana.

Without saying anything more, Ana turned away to leave the room.

A part of Moira wanted to stop Ana and beg her to forgive the things Moira had done, for Ana to not leave her again.  _Pathetic_ , Moira thought to herself when the sound of door closing as Ana left the flat threatened to cause more tears to fall. There was no point in begging for forgiveness for things she didn’t regret the way Ana wished she had. As she was now, there was no part for Moira in Ana’s life. Maybe there never truly had been.

Moira had always known the world she wished to create with science would demand sacrifices, and Moira supposed letting go of the only person she had ever truly loved was hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Twitter: happyanpan  
> Tumblr: oliviac0lomar


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